The Wife Thing

I'm not sure where or how this started...

I've known for a few years now that I wanted to get re-married some day, but I wasn't with a person where that was an actual possibilty, so it sort of got tucked into a small dark compartment somewhere far, far away and incredibly hard to access - until now.

There's been talk and it's been mostly him doing the talking...

1. when his grandmother said she liked me and that I was the best woman he's ever been with, he announced to her (and all bystanders) that he's going to marry me
2. when out with his parents one day he brought up that he wants our wedding to be intimate & wants to spend the money on a spectacular dinner and Dom Perignon rather than on a lot of extra guests
3. when he told me to look in my fashion magazine at an engagement ring advertisement to see if I liked that style
4. when we discussed our plan for the next year or so which consists of him getting a substantial raise, us moving in together when his lease is up, the saving of my paychecks for the downpayment on our house, getting married, having kids, and me quitting work to stay home with my little one and our new bundle.

So it's been discussed, and it is something that we both want. And even though there is no ring yet, and our plan is not actually happening yet, I have been secretly looking at this http://theknot.com/ and these http://weddings.theknot.com/weddingdress/bs_main.aspx?gowntype=1 and this http://www.bluenile.com/diamond_search.asp?track=dss&filter_id=8 and marking dresses, hairstyles, rings, and cakes as "saved to my notebook". I get emails about new wedding favors, and the newest styles of invitations, and bridesmaids' gift suggestions that I read and save in my personal email folder for future ideas. It's all coming back to me.

And here's the thing... I can finally dream!

It's been a very long time for my heart to even allow itself those long lost feelings of forever, of future, of home, family, and love. It is a wonderful feeling that I didn't realize I had missed so much.

I used to dream of doing "the wife thing" and somehow that dream got lost.

It is so nice to have it back!