Now! Now! Now!
I'm so blah and want to have a vacation today, right this minute, need at least 10 days off, starting now. I only have 5 hours of pto so I can't get too far with that. And in order to build up enough for NC in Oct. I can't take any more days off.... I'm actually gonna be short (after calculating my 4 measly hours every pay period from now until Oct.) Even if I don't take a day off until then - I will only have 29 hours. Short by 11 hours. How lame is that?!
I am not in a very good mood today either. I don't know why. I think I just really need some time off and feel overwhelmed, stressed out, tired, and at a loss of enthusiasm for my work and all things daily & tedious. In order to break up the monotony & bah-humbugness of today, I think I'll go at lunch to the 99cent store to get wrapping stuff for A's b-day presents, and go to the mall to get the Lego set for him... get it all taken care of before tomorrow night & check on the cats. (You'd think I'd be excited about the concert. I should be, but it's sort of another activity that is coming up and is causing anxiety trying to plan all the other things going on around it - Questions like will we both be off work in time? Will we make it to Long Beach in time? And can I get all the birthday preparations together in time to miss a whole evening of prep while at a concert all the way in Long Beach? And what about those 2 extra tickets we have?) I don't know how I'm gonna fit all this in over the next few days, much less all the things that I need to do today on my lunch.
I just wish I didn't feel so down and so in limbo and so hmmph. I love A so much and maybe that's partly why I feel like I'm falling apart, beacause I'm finally with someone safe and strong that I can let my guard down around and instead of just my guard coming down my whole being is crumbling down fast and is probably long overdue. I wish so much that we could move in together now and that he would get his raise now and that I could take a break from work now (and possibly forever) now. That would be fabulously, scrumptious and wonderful beyond all things of greatness to come.
Please, with a cherry, and sugar on top???!!
I am not in a very good mood today either. I don't know why. I think I just really need some time off and feel overwhelmed, stressed out, tired, and at a loss of enthusiasm for my work and all things daily & tedious. In order to break up the monotony & bah-humbugness of today, I think I'll go at lunch to the 99cent store to get wrapping stuff for A's b-day presents, and go to the mall to get the Lego set for him... get it all taken care of before tomorrow night & check on the cats. (You'd think I'd be excited about the concert. I should be, but it's sort of another activity that is coming up and is causing anxiety trying to plan all the other things going on around it - Questions like will we both be off work in time? Will we make it to Long Beach in time? And can I get all the birthday preparations together in time to miss a whole evening of prep while at a concert all the way in Long Beach? And what about those 2 extra tickets we have?) I don't know how I'm gonna fit all this in over the next few days, much less all the things that I need to do today on my lunch.
I just wish I didn't feel so down and so in limbo and so hmmph. I love A so much and maybe that's partly why I feel like I'm falling apart, beacause I'm finally with someone safe and strong that I can let my guard down around and instead of just my guard coming down my whole being is crumbling down fast and is probably long overdue. I wish so much that we could move in together now and that he would get his raise now and that I could take a break from work now (and possibly forever) now. That would be fabulously, scrumptious and wonderful beyond all things of greatness to come.
Please, with a cherry, and sugar on top???!!
posted by LoLo @ 10:40 PM
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